Provoked #3

[ron]

Being Provoked:

If a fight broke out in the hallway, caused by name calling and a punch to the face, who would be to blame? What if the name caller started it all by making fun of the other person and telling the other person to hit them? What if the person who threw the punch didn't start the fight?Getting on people's nerves can be as effective as a punch to the face, so why would you get in more trouble for throwing a punch?In schools today, violence is seen to be a form of bullying, but what about name calling and provoking someone to hit you? Being bullied mentally can be easily as painstaking as being hit physically. If someone gets on your nerves and tells you to hit them, you just might. So who is the bully there? The person calling names, or the punch thrower?

[jordannulty]

After reading your essay about being provoked I understood most of the points and liked your way of explaining them. But I think there are some changes that could make your response on being provoked even better. I’ll start with the things I liked about your essay. For starters I liked your opening sentence it caught my attention it intrigued me to read the remainder of it. Another thing that I liked about your essay was how you created a situation and related the rest of your essay to that situation. And lastly I liked how you ended the essay with a question; it leaves the reader wanting more. Now for the things that I didn’t like about your essay and the things that can make your essay even better. First off, you had no relations to Nineteen Minutes in your essay. You also didn’t have any life experiences in your essay. Two other things that could make your essay better are spell-check and your essay wasn’t really an essay more like a paragraph. And it was supposed to be 5 paragraphs. Other wise your essay was interesting and covered most of all the topics it was supposed to cover.

[marykatec]

i will start off with what i liked about your essay. i liked the last sentence, ending with a question will always make people want more and can't wait for what you come up with next. i also liked the opening sentence , it got right to the point and let me know what was going on. although most of your essay were questions.you need some answers. also it was supposed to be 5 paragraphs not one. but overall i did like it.

[champhayes]

Wat i loved about your essay was that used a full circle ending by starting and ending with a question. I liked the way you asked and answered every question possed. I thought you could have developed the topic of provoking more and made the essay longer. It didn't have anything to do with Nineteen Mnutes though. That would make a great introduction paragraph but you are missing the other four paragraphs. Overall, i enjoyed it.